"You can't be serious!" volume 1

Working as a stripper, it's inevitable that I meet some very strange people and have equally strange experiences. So I present to you my first installment of "You can't be serious!" in which you'll find stories of my strange or bad experiences at work.


"Esclave" approached me during a shift when I wasn't busy and politely asked for a dance. He looked very nice and was polite and friendly. French speaking (France accent) and a bit fidgety, I start my first private dance with him and all starts normally and is going well. Near the end of the first song, he starts letting me know that he enjoys being dominated. Going into more details, he explains that he much desires humiliation and genital pain (both nipples and groin). Above all, what he would really really appreciate is me to spit on him, anywhere I wished but mainly on his face...

I'm not a fan of spitting and personally think it's a pretty disgusting habit and one of the "ugliest" thing a woman can do. On the other hand, I do have experience in fetish and BSDM play so I understand what he's looking for. I don't mind fulfilling some of his requests so the next few dances I spent insulting him, spitting on him quite a bit, pinching and twisting his nipples as well as kicking him and kneeing him in the groin. Certainly not your typical lapdance!

He kept asking me to kick harder and such but there are limits to what I will do. I won't risk injuring someone in the process of fulfilling their fantasy. He then requested I urinate on him which I absolutely refused to do, in a strip club booth no less!!! That is just so wrong on so many levels! He tried to convince me to pee in a glass so he could drink it but at that point I had had more than enough and bid him farewell after collecting my dance fees. I heard later from other dancers that had danced for him and it was pretty much the same story each time... Some people get their rocks off with really strange stuff!!! lol


"Gropy" is a young man that I've seen come in a few times now and try to avoid as much as I can. The first time I met him was on a slow day and I offered to sit with him for company. The conversation went straight to him trying to meet me outside the club and me being the perfect girlfriend for him, bla bla bla... All the while groping me and pulling me close to him tightly. I pushed him off and told him to slow down and he relaxed for a bit. As I decided to say goodbye and move on, he asked for a dance.

I danced for him that time 2 songs and he knocked himself out groping me silly. The whole time dancing, he also spent trying to convince me to be his girlfriend and how he's perfect for me, etc... I was happy that it ended quickly at 2 songs and didn't intend to dance for him again, just too unpleasant to deal with. I've seen him a few times since and manage to avoid him for the most part. I just can't stand the super gropyness and endless convincing talk.


"You wish" I started chatting with one afternoon, a seemingly nice older gentleman. He quickly turned the conversation to lap dances and started inquiring about how good mine were. "I only like getting good lapdances, most of the girls here are okay but you got to watch with the new ones..." he said looking at me suspiciously. I replied with "I can tell you all the things you want to hear but you'll only know if you like my dances when you try them".

He goes on to say that he loves eating pussy and that he would really like that. I told him that was a definite no and then said that if that's what made a lap dance good for him that we won't bother at all. I was getting up to leave and he said "no, no, it's okay. let's go for dances and see". We head for the booths and get settled in, I'm closing the curtain and hanging my purse up on the hook and turn around. Well at that moment, this guy grabs me by my hips, pulls my thong off to the side with one hand and bends down to try and get a lick!!!

I couldn't believe it! I had just clearly said that it wasn't going to happen at all and he didn't even wait for the song to start or anything, just went straight for it! I pushed his head back and expressed my disgust and told him off some. He got an air dance for the rest of the song and then I was done, I collected and left. Unbelievable...


"Dick" is a somewhat of a regular face at the club coming in, usually around happy hour. Another dancer and the DJ warned me that he was annoying and never got dances, not to waste my time on him. On a quiet day, he came to sit with me and started chatting.

It wasn't long that I figured there was a good reason why other dancers didn't like him, he acted like a know-it-all and was just being a dick. He even said himself that he doesn't get along with most of the other dancers but according to him, it's all their problem of course. During our short conversation, he mentionned he wasn't looking to get dances, just wanted to hang out and chat a bit. I stayed with him another 2-3 minutes before I went off.

An hour or so later, he comes up to me upset and angry. "Why didn't you come back? I waited for you all this time to get dances". I'm stunned and tell him that he never invited me to come back to see him or imply that he wanted dances from me, in fact he had said that he didn't want dances at all that day". He then started arguing that he didn't say those things and that I was confused or had a problem! The kicker is that he finished by saying it was my loss, that he had waited long enough and didn't want the dances anymore.

Hahahahahahahaha! Like I would have danced for him after that! He's tried to talk to me since but I am always "busy", sure as heck don't want to deal with this wierdo again.


"Mr. Bull" I met once, had offered to sit with him for some company and started chatting. Early in the discussion, he said he wanted dances from me but just had gotten there and wanted to drink his beer first. No problem with me and we negotiated a 30 min private dance for a little while later when we were ready.

I ended up chatting with Mr Bull for a good half hour. Aside from the private dance negotiation, he spent the rest of the time talking about how "different" he is from other men. He said he'd like to see me outside the club on a strickly platonic basis and that he's really not into sex or wanting it from me. He goes on and on saying that sex isn't important to him at all, that he waits at least a year in a relationship before having sex, bla bla bla...

Eventually, we head to the booths for our private dance session and get settled in. After closing the curtain and hanging up my purse I turn around. What do I see? He's sitting down comfortably with his pants undone and his dick completely exposed!!! This after all the talk about sex being so unimportant to him and the last thing on his mind... When he saw the expression on my face, he clued in that what he did wasn't a good idea and redid his pants up. The dance was okay but not another word was said and I couldn't wait for the time to be up, probably one of the longest half hours in my life! I'm just amazed at the amount of bullshit this guy spewed during our chat and how quickly his true motivations showed themselves. I'm still trying to figure out what the point of his bullshit talk was supposed to accomplish?!

Well there you have it, my first "special" experiences. I'm sure there will be more volumes to come soon!

Madison

Can I take you out on a date?

I'll write about a subject now that comes up surprisingly often in my work day:
Clients wanting to see me outside the club

When I first started working, I expected these questions to come up and knew they came with the job. I certainly wasn't prepared to confront them on such a regular basis! Roughly 75-80% of the men I meet during a work shift will ask me such a question, both from some that have had dances from me and even a few from some that haven't and don't intend to!

The requests vary from simple coffee or lunch dates to evenings out on the town with dinner and entertainment. Some get right to the point and want to meet me in a more discreet environment for extra services or for the same dancing services I provide, just more privately. Then there are those who are desperately looking for a relationship and want me to magically fall in love with them within minutes and run off with them... Of course, lets not forget those irresistible men that try to land a stripper for an awesome free fuck and bragging rights!

As with these requests, the intentions behind them vary just as much: men desiring a friendly, business, intimate or romantic relationship with me outside of the club.

In any respectful conversation, I am never offended by clients asking to see me outside the club for whatever reason, in fact I think of it as a compliment. I figure that a person making such a request must find me attractive and enjoyable company to spend some time with! However, what I do have a problem with are men that don't take a polite no for an answer and then spend the rest of the time trying to convince me otherwise... I tend to not stick around very long when conversations turn this way, certainly not a tactic that works, lol!

When I first started stripping I decided that I wouldn't pursue relationships with clients outside the club. Being completely new to this business, I thought it was best to avoid the delicate and complex aspects of outside the club relationships on all levels. There are many different reasons for this decision, here are a few examples:

- Friendship relationships: It's hard for me to know if this is truly your sole intention. I'm a stripper and we met at my club during my workshift which is also the only place I've gotten to know a little about you. I've danced for you in a sensual and erotic way for X number of times to which you've expressed much enjoyment and pleasure. Now I am to believe that you honestly only desire a platonic friendship outside the club.... I know that there a select few gentlemen that are sincere with such intentions but they are unfortunately vastly outnumbered by men with different intentions using a "friendship" relationship as a ruse to try and get more.

- Business relationships: I am not opposed to the idea of offering my dancing services for private shows. In fact, I am currently gathering much information of the subject to see if this is a service that would be possible for me to offer in the near future. As for intimate services other than dancing such as those offered by escorts, I am sorry to say that I do not offer such options.

- Intimate/romantic relationships: I am currently happy with my life and social circle and am not looking for such relationships. Even if things were different, I have to admit that the chances of me hooking up with a patron of my club are very unlikely.

Now, although I don't see my club's patrons outside of work, I can give you some ideas and suggestions of what I think might work for some dancers that do occasionally meet patrons outside the club.

- Buy a few dances from the stripper you're interested in. Those who do not have very little chances, girls just don't sit and chat long with clients who don't have them dance. With such little time for interaction, convincing a stripper to see you outside the club is virtually impossible. Buying a drink is better than nothing but if she hasn't had the chance to see how you are during a private dance there's no opportunity to get a better 'feel' for you other than a little conversation.

- Make your request in a discreet and polite fashion then gauge her response. If she is offended chances are obviously very unlikely, lol! If she politely declines without saying why, you can inquire a bit more but do not push the matter or try to convince her otherwise. Just state your desires and intentions and leave it at that. If she agrees, then great! Just be careful not to expect too much that the meeting will take place as planned, many agree but don't go through with it for various reasons.

- Don't expect much on a first meeting. Those few strippers that I've seen occasionally meet patrons outside the club are selective and almost always make arrangements with men they have met a few times.

- Being pushy and trying to convince never works. Every man that's made a request to see me outside the club has said something like: "I'm not like the other guys here", "It'll be different with me", "I'll treat you like a queen", "We'll do whatever you want to do", etc... We've heard this all numerous times before so it carries little weight and doesn't impress.

In my opinion, strippers just aren't the best choice when looking for any kind of relationship outside the club. Our job is to dance and take your mind off things when you come in the club looking to unwind, and we are happy to oblige ;)

Madison

Lazy post-Christmas days

Hope everyone are enjoying the holiday season and festivities. Myself, I have to admit that I'm happy Christmas is over with. I love having an excuse to give presents to others, especially the kids in my family, and getting all together to celebrate and have fun. What I'm not too keen about is all the preparation and headaches that come along with it. Shopping for Christmas is done in the cold season (which I'm not too fond of) and when malls in general are busier. Of course, close to the holidays malls and stores are warzone and hell on earth! I love shopping for others but not amidst hundreds or even thousands of crazed shoppers who are more often than not, quite rude. The fun part of coordinating many events into a schedule of a few days, then getting to every one of them on time and with everything you're supposed to bring with you.

Phew! I'm happy the worst is done with. I never do anything big for New Years so I've been able to relax since Monday and have done so with much enjoyment ;) Actually, I've been quite lazy the past couple days enjoying quiet time at home relaxing and giving myself a nice holiday treat!

I do plan to go into work this week, most likely Thursday and maybe Friday as well. I appologize for not being as consistent with my schedule these days. It's my number one resolution for the new year I promise!

Best wishes to all
Madison

Holidays almost here!

Are you ready? I'm still not! I'm usually pretty good at getting all my holiday preparations (mostly shopping) done in early December. This year has been a different matter and I only started my shopping last Sunday! Not much more to do, hopefully will get everything done tomorrow (keeping my fingers crossed). I'm just not looking forward to the crowded stores, hopefully going early in the day will avoid the mad rushes.

I had a great day at work today (Tuesday) added a few of my new little pole tricks to my routine and got nice compliments and lots of applause :) It sure helped me be in a fantastic mood! I'm looking forward to adding more tricks as I get better with my pole practices.

I was happy to spend time with both Mr. Read and Mr. Burr again today, wonderful clients to talk to and to dance for. Both treat me nicely and they always get my day off to a great start.

I had the pleasure of dancing for another regular of mine Mr. Derb. Very sweet man who usually comes in near the end of my shift. Always a nice customer to finish the day with :)

Met a few other gentlemen I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting before, all were very pleasant and it made for a wonderful day at work. Nothing beats days like these: Being in a great mood, having the luck of seeing a few of my favorite regulars and meeting nice new clients.

I can't make it in on Wednesday this week but will be there Thursday 12:30-7:00pm.

Madison

To approach or not to approach

Really wasn't feeling well when I got up this morning so I decided it was best to stay home and get better quick. I much rather go to work being at my best than forcing myself and not being in the best of moods. I figure clients prefer it that way too ;)

Unless something big comes up, I should be in tomorrow at 12:30.

Now, let's talk about a much talked about stripper behaviour: The approach

I've heard many complaints from clients that strippers are often "uninviting" and don't come around to their table for a chat much. I'll give you my opinion on the matter and let you know how I feel about the subjet.

If things are going good, I am most happy to walk around and actively put myself out there. I'll make eye contact and smile, if it's returned I'll offer to sit down for some company. I enjoy it and have met many of my regular clients this way. My goal isn't to sell dances outright but to meet the clients and get to know each other a little. I never expect any dances but do appreciate it when a customer requests them ;) I've even managed to get dances from clients that didn't have the intention to and had said so before I sat down. I figure, if you seem nice and I could use a few minutes off my feet, why not spend it chatting with you. The three times it happened that customers warned me they weren't buying dances before I sat down, they all ended up asking for some themselves a few minutes later!!! Go figure

Needless to say, this seems to be a win-win situation for both me and the clients. I've sat and chatted with a few that didn't buy dances from me and that's fine. It really doesn't upset me in any way as it apparently does to some other dancers.

Now there are times (a few of them) where "walking the floor" isn't my thing and you'll see me sitting by myself near the bar or DJ booth. There are many different reasons but at no time am I uninterested to spend time with a client, I'm just not putting myself out there as much as I possibly can.

It can be that I'm in a shyer mood than usual or just don't feel in the mood for rejection. I know it's part of the job but sometimes it's easier to sit out for a little while and let people come to me. A big factor can be other dancers and the client to dancer ratio. For example, if I get a good start in my day while most others haven't made much, I'll lay low for a bit. It can get pretty catty on slow days and many don't make much so they will start complaining and targeting those who do make good business. On these days, it's best to let them walk the floor and lay low. It ends up paying off for me anyways because they're in a sour mood and clients often come looking for me who's in a good mood afterwards!

My shift consist of both working the floor and sitting out, some days more floor and other more sitting out. When I sit out though, I try and make myself approachable by sitting alone away from the VLTs and watch the stage show. I smile at customers walking by and try my best not to look bored or uninterested.

I can't say that it's the same approach as most other dancers but it works well for me. As they say, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it"!

Madison

Stripper pole fun

Having my own pole to practice on at home is absolutely fantastic! I've been having fun trying new things and getting better aquainted with my stage prop, it does come at a price though. The toll on my body is definitely showing and making itself felt!

Luckily, after my first practice session last Tuesday I wasn't too sore on Wednesday (big surprise!). However, it kicked in later Wednesday night and Thursday I was really feeling it. It hasn't kept me from practicing of course, and my body is starting to get used to this new workout for the most part.

The soreness I can deal with but the bruises however... Well needless to say, they aren't very attractive... My inner thighs and knees are loaded with bruises, something I'll have fun covering up with makeup for work. It's a normal part of learning to do polework I'm told by many experienced dancers and it will stop in a few weeks when my skin and muscles toughen up some. Until then, rest assured that no one is harming me, it's the pole practice causing the bruises!

I'm planning to incorporate some of my new moves into my stages shows, finally a bit more diversity in my performances!

I'll be in on Monday and Wednesday this week, I'll post if I plan to work any other days later.

Madison

My week is off to a great start!

Went into work on Monday and had a great day even though it was surpringly quiet, probably the most quiet day I've worked so far. Even during the 2 for 1 specials on drinks times, it was much less than usual. A few clients dispersed throughout the club and one table of rowdy and loud guys.

After a minute or two after I've hit the floor, I was approached by a nice gentleman who asked if I was available for a private dance. I happily agreed and went with him. As we started, he warned me he was on his way out and could only stay for one song and was sorry he didn't have more time. I thought it was sweet and we had a nice although brief time.

Soon after, I notice Mr. Read sitting in his usual spot. A customer I've had the pleasure to chat and dance with before and that I enjoyed spending time with and consider one of my favorites. I'm happy to see he is alone and go say hello, I sit down and we start chatting. It's my turn to do my stage sets and ask him if he wants me to come back and see him afterwards to which he happily accepts. We chat a bit more and head off to the booths for some dances before he has to go. Danced for him a few songs which is always a pleasure and then he was off hoping to be on time for his appointment.

While sitting with Mr. Read earlier, I had seen that Mr. Burr had arrived and was also in his usual spot. He was currently busy chatting with another dancer so I hoped to have the chance to see him later if he was free.

Mr. Burr is another favorite customer of mine, always fun to talk to and a nice gentle man. After a little while, I see that he is free so I go sit with him and chat for a while. He suggest we go to the booths after a bit and we enjoy a few private dances together.

At this point I'm happy my day is off to such a good start considering it's so quiet and that I never expect regulars to choose me for dances all the time. I was lucky to also have danced for such nice men! I sat down for a feet break and to watch the stage shows for a while.

The club was quite empty at that point and there were quite a few girls working that day so I was happy to take it easy for a while. After already getting quite a few dances early while others mostly hadn't, I didn't want to approach the few customers there much and get the mega evil eyes, lol!

A client approached me later on and asked if I was free for dances. He seemed nice and I happily obliged. I never expected to end up spending an hour and a half dancing for him!!! He was quite pleasant and very appreciative of my dances. I danced a total of 18 songs for him! I was quite happy as he was a great customer to dance for let alone that he took so many dances. He seemed very content afterwards and we talked for a bit before I was due on stage again. Said he'd come back and see me again next week, it would be nice ;)

After my stage set I was getting a bit tired and my feet started aching. Along with many of the other girls not being too happy about me getting what seemed to be all the good customers that day, I laid really low till the end of my shift.

Monday was a good day for me and it sure helps starting a week off with.

I was planning to go in Tuesday, was up early slowly getting ready when the stripper pole I ordered arrived earlier than I had anticipated. It's a very nice removable pole from Platinum Stages that I had been dying to get my hands on to practice some pole tricks and moves. I couldn't resist not playing with it so I decided to stay home instead to set it up and start practicing :)

It's a beautiful pole and I'm extatic to finally have it. Pole work is deceptively hard though and I'm already sore from the practicing today and also earned a few bruises too! It's great fun though and I look forward to getting better with it over time.

I'm praying I won't be a total wreck when I wake up tomorrow. I'm sure I've puller or over exerted quite a few muscles today, lol!

Madison

Introduction

Hello and welcome to my little online journal. I'll start things off with a little intro and give you a better idea of who I am and what this blog is about.

I live in Montreal, a wonderful city which I never expect to leave aside from vacations. Yes it's quite cold in the winter time but nothing can beat the great nightlife and the open minded influence of the french culture, especially concerning erotic affairs ;)

I've recently started working as a stripper and honestly am loving it! I had tried stripping on a couple of occasions a while back but it didn't seem to click with me then. I had no problem with dancing nude on stage or giving lap dances but I did have a hard time with the long (and often late) hours and the toll it took on my feet and body.

Being unhappy with my multiple office job experiences, I decided to give stripping another shot. I've always loved being in strip clubs as a client myself and liked the dancing before, so I started preparin myself for another try. From my last experiences, I learned that I definitely needed practice walking and dancing in 6" heels and needed to build up some endurance in my legs for a full shift of dancing.

For a week I practiced every day, wearing my heels for a few hours and dancing to tone and strengthen my legs. I started going through some songs that I had to chose which would be good for my stage sets. I did some research online to find a club that would suit my needs, after making a few calls I had an appointment with a manager to start dancing at a local club.

My first day I was shown around the club and explained the rules. I liked this club much more than the other two I had tried at in terms of work atmosphere. The staff was very nice and helpful and some dancers friendly. My first day was a success in pretty much every possible way. The practice paid off and I wasn't a total wreck by the end of my shift. Every one was stunned that it was my "first" day dancing and that it looked like I had been dancing for a while (stage sets were good, looked comfortable, got many complements!). I made good money and best of all, I felt good working at this club. Needless to say, I wasn't planning on going back to an office job anytime soon!

It's been a bit over a month since my stripping debut and it's still as good as the first day. I won't pretend it's always fun and games, I have met my fair share of unpleasant customers, but there are plenty good ones to make everything worth it. You'll soon be reading about my daily experiences so check back soon to get the nitty gritty details about my workdays ;)

I know, I know... You want details!!!
Here they are :)

I am a petite woman standing only 5' tall and weighing just under 100 lbs. I have curly blond shoulder length hair and blue eyes. I am known to be quite friendly and am almost always smiling. As a stripper, I consider myself the slow sensual type especially on stage.

I work dayshifts (1pm to 7pm) at Cafe Cleopatra's here in Montreal. One of the perks of this job is very flexible schedules so I don't have set days that I work on although I try my best to be there on Mondays and Wednesdays. I generally work between 2 and 4 weekday shifts for the time being. I'll update my schedule here promptly if there are any changes.

My prefered customer? Someone respectful and looking to have some fun.

Major turn offs: Trying to see me outside the club, especially when it's the first thing brought up in a conversation. Expecting unreasonable things from a lapdance (DATY, HJ, BJ, FS, etc...). Not respecting my boundaries, if I say no it means NO!

Major turn ons: Pleasant conversation and flirting, someone who during a lapdance touches and caresses me in nice ways respecting normal limits. Someone who enjoys the experience and is not distracted by work, guilt or something else. Someone who enjoys getting a few lapdances at once. Being offered a drink. Tips are not expected but most certainly welcome and a sure sign to me that my time and dance was much appreciated.

Well now, I didn't think I'd ramble on for so long! I'll be adding a pic or two shortly to give a you teensie idea of what I look like. In the meantime, we'll just have to cross paths at the club ;)

Madison